What Happiness Is
by shadoweddawn
Summary: Beckett gets called away from a family day, and it gets her thinking about her life.


Based off a prompt of CastleFanFicPrompts, where Beckett leaves to go to work and their daughter cries for Mommy. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. So thanks for the idea whoever left it. It's not much, but it's mine. Thanks to Andrew Marlowe and Company for the amazing characters to give me a chance to expand on them.

* * *

She could spend hours listening to her laugh and never get tired of it. The perfection of a child's laugh, innocent and pure. Beckett loved lazy days like this, getting to spend the day with her family.

Castle and Alyssa were on the floor, their 16 month old daughter using her father as a jungle gym. Beckett had surrendered in favor of water, needing to catch her breath after an hour long tickle fight with Alyssa, her daughter's laughter still ringing in the detective's ears.

Their daughter was a breath of fresh air, bringing a wonderful sense of contentment to the Castle family. Beckett thrived in motherhood, instinct outweighing any fear. Late nights with Castle whispering words of affirmation gave her wonderful sense of strength. Seeing him with their daughter, their wonderful creation together, filled her with a sense of womanhood and pride she hadn't thought possible.

Castle's blue eyes found hers, alight with a sparkle that confirmed his happiness, setting Beckett's heart racing. Two years of marriage and a daughter had done nothing but deepen their commitment, had the unlikely partners flourishing in their still new roles as husband and wife.

"Come on, Mommy, come play with us!"

Castle's booming voice lured his wife in. Alyssa was quick to bring Beckett into the fold, clamoring over Castle to climb onto Beckett's back, her baby girl words barely making sense as she straddled her mother.

"Pony ride it is!"

Before she could continue to bask in the joy that was her life, Beckett's cell phone rang. Castle's groan, though soft, caught her attention. They had planned on spending the day together, taking their daughter to the park before meeting Alexis and her boyfriend of a year and a half David for dinner, (Beckett wondered if tonight would be the night he would propose, having dropped by the house three days ago to ask Castle's permission.)

Pulling away to find her phone buried in the couch, Beckett grimaced at her husband as he quickly sat up, tugging their still giggling daughter into his lap.

"Sorry babe, maybe it's not an emergency."

They both knew it wouldn't be true. Keeping her eyes on her daughter and husband, Beckett sighed into the phone.

"Beckett."  
"Yo. Murder downtown. Gruesome too."  
"Do you really need me?"

Castle's eyebrows shot up, an appreciative smile gracing his handsome features. Beckett shrugged-it was worth a shot right-before sliding into the floor to press a tender kiss to his cheek and to the top of Alyssa's head. Her soft brown hair was matted with sweat, her chubby baby cheeks flushed after rough-housing with her father. Alyssa's eyes shifted between her parents, confusion clouding her hazel eyes that were exactly like Kate's.

"Okay, yeah. I understand. I'll be there in 20. I gotta get out a decent time though Espo."

Tossing her phone aside, Beckett sighed heavily. She opened her mouth, apology on the tip of her tongue, but Castle's gentle voice cut her off. He cupped her jaw and kissed her softly, his lips molding against hers with the perfect amount of pressure.

"Its okay, Kate. We knew it was a possibility being on call. We'll get dinner and have it ready for you when you get home."

A grateful smile, a soft kiss. Her love for this man and their life knew no bounds. Pressing her forehead to Castle's, Beckett whispered into the small space between them.

"Thanks babe. I love you."  
"Love you too."

Turning her attention to their daughter, Beckett said animatedly, seeing the tears already forming and wanted to dispel them.

"Okay baby girl, Mommy's got to go to work. I'll be home soon, though, okay?"

Alyssa buried her face in Castle's shirt, her tiny voice soft as she whispered, breaking Beckett's heart in the process.

"Mama."

Choking back the sob that caught her off guard, Beckett gave her daughter a tight smile. Tugging Alyssa onto her lap, Beckett pressed her cheek against her daughter's hair as she whispered

"Yeah baby. I'm Mama."

She had been babbling for weeks, a string of incoherent sounds that had eventually given way to "Mama," as Beckett came home from work one day. It had caught both Castle and Beckett off guard, tears gathering in their eyes as they tied to get her to say it again, Beckett savoring the sound each time the word fell from her perfect lips. Eventually "Mama" gave way to "Dada," Beckett hurrying their daughter into Castle's office as he worked on the newest Nikki Heat novel. Alyssa had reached for him, the word spilling from her as she lunged for him.

A steady stream of "Mama" and "Dada" filled their days now, much to their delight. As she changed, Beckett thought of how drastically her world had changed. She used to welcome long nights at the precinct, a chance to close a case quickly. Now, tearing herself away from her family was a chore, one she wished wasn't so demanding at times.

Her grey suit was a stark contrast to pajamas that now lay in a heap on the end of their magnificent bed. As she stepped back into the living room, Beckett's eyes filled with tears as she saw her daughter tucked protectively under her father's arm, a Disney movie now holding her attention. The sound of her heels was loud across the floor as Beckett leaned down, capturing Castle's lips in a searing kiss. She whispered breathlessly as she pulled away, already looking forward to coming back home.

"I'll be home soon."

Castle nodded, the disappointment she had seen briefly in his eyes covered with desire now. A quick kiss to the top of Alyssa's head and she was out the door, not glancing back for fear of giving into her true wants. Leaning against the door once safely in the hallway, Beckett let a few tears fall before she composed herself. The sooner she got to work, the sooner she got home.

* * *

Five hours and two interviews later, Beckett shut the door of the loft quietly behind her. It was dark in their home, save the pale light spilling from Castle's office. It was good to be home. The smell of Chinese filled the loft, causing Beckett's stomach to rumble in hunger. She had looked forward to dinner all afternoon with her family.

As she slipped off her heels by the door and padded across the room, intent on seeking out Castle's warmth, Beckett's ears picked up on the soft music was coming from their bedroom. A quick peak in their room revealed their daughter sprawled in the middle of their bed.

She watched Alyssa sleep, her eyes taking in every inch of her daughter. Her chubby hands clenched the sheets, her perfect baby lips forming an "o," in sleep. Her breath was stuttering as if she had been crying; she must have been fussy as Castle put her down. Beckett leaned against the door frame, a soft sigh escaping the devoted mother and wife. She was perfect, the best combination of Castle and Beckett.

"She missed you today."

Turning, Beckett's hazel eyes found Castle's blue ones. His hands immediately found her waist as he pulled his wife flush against him, pressing a feather light kiss to her temple. Deciding that wasn't enough, Beckett pressed up on her toes to kiss him fully, her tongue dancing along his. He tasted delicious, drawing a soft moan from her. The need for air too pressing despite her longings, Beckett pulled away slightly. Leaning into him, Beckett whispered against his throat

"How did she do?"  
"She uh…"

Raising her eyes to meet his, Beckett leaned back, her hands holding his shoulders gently and worrying at the tension she felt creep into his muscles. His eyes shifted between her and their daughter, his throat bobbing as he weighed his words. Beckett raised her eyebrows and said quietly,

"Rick, what happened?"  
"I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want to upset you but..."  
"Is she okay, is she hurt?"

She heard the hint of panic in her voice as she turned immediately out of his embrace, heading to their room to once again inspect their daughter. This time being more detailed in her search, Beckett ran her hands over her daughter's soft skin, looking for any imperfection that might have arisen during her absence.

"Kate, honey, she's fine. Can you just…"

He tugged on her arms to get her to stand, once again swallowing her in his embrace. Beckett buried her face in Castle's neck; breathing in the gentle smell of baby soap-he must have taken a bath with their daughter.

"She just missed you, that's all. We both did."

He led her to the living room, the light flashing off his wedding band catching her attention. Castle pulled her down onto the couch with him, settling her on his lap. He kissed her softly once more before elaborating, knowing Beckett would not relax until she knew the whole story.

"She cried a lot after you left. I don't know why today was so different from others, but Daddy just didn't cut it. She stood at the door for a long time crying, waiting for you to come back. I tried movies, reading, playing, eating, and rocking. Anything and everything I could think of. I finally called Alexis thinking maybe it was just she didn't want me, which I'm fine with. But she cried with her too. She cried for hours, only stopping when the phone rang. When it wasn't you, she went right back to crying. She finally fell asleep about half an hour ago. I don't know what happened today."

Hot tears of disappointment fell before she could stop them at Castle's words, the hurt he felt masked by their daughter's pain and now wife's anguish. Beckett buried her face in his chest, his grey cotton shirt soaking up her tears. His hand rubbed her back soothingly, whispering soft words of sympathy in her ear. Finally raising her head, hazel eyes bright with tears, Beckett said truthfully

"Today was harder for me too. I don't know why, but leaving was almost too much. I love my job, Castle. You know that. I know how much you love being there. But…our life is so much more than that now. We've come such a long way, and I don't want to miss anymore. She just started walking, and she's babbling, and we can't even take a day as a family. I don't want you to raise our daughter by yourself, Castle. Not that you can't-" Beckett saw the flash of hurt in his eyes at her words, but quickly stammered to correct what she meant, "but I don't want you to have to. We talked about that, specifically discussed not leaving you to raise our children alone. I hate the idea of leaving you to take care of our children because I'm too busy with work, and I didn't realize how much it mattered to me to be here until Alyssa was born. Now, I don't want to miss a thing."

Castle's fingers tightened briefly on the small of her back as she burrowed into him. His free hand skimmed up and down her thigh, bringing her a slight sense of calm. His voice was gentle in her ear as he whispered softly, open conversation easy with them now, their marriage strong.

"What do we want to do? You can't afford to be distracted or upset at work, Kate. We both know that."

Beckett shrugged wordlessly, her eyes turning to their now cracked bedroom door, as if she was able to see their daughter through the wood. Take a deep breath, Beckett linked their fingers together as ideas raced through her mind. Their wedding bands drew her attention, captivated her. His startling blue eyes were soft when she met them, waiting to hear her suggestions, trusting her instincts implicitly.

"I think…maybe it's time I explore other avenues. With you writing full time again, it's not really the same at the precinct anyway. Maybe…maybe it's time to see what else the world has to offer."

He smiled softly, eyes crinkling as he whispered excitedly, fingers squeezing hers tightly.

"Yeah? You think?"  
"Yeah, I think. Are you okay with that?"  
"I am more than okay with that. I'll support you in whatever you do, Kate."

Castle's smile was contagious, bringing a warm one to Beckett as well. They sat there in silence for a minute, but absorbing what this would mean for their family, before Beckett finally wiggled off his lap and stood. Reaching for his hand, Kate pulled him to his feet as she whispered

"Besides, it might be a good time for me to take a break anyway. I think we're going to be pretty busy in the next little bit."

He walked her backwards towards his office, both aware of their daughter sleeping in their room but desire heavy between them. Her shirt was discarded on the floor outside the door, his pajama pants quickly following suit. Sucking on the tender patch of skin covering her thundering pulse, Beckett felt her knees weaken as he pressed her against his desk. His voice was husky with arousal against her throat, sending a shiver racing through Kate.

"Oh really, why is that?"

Raising her eyebrows, Beckett tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, taking her time in answering. She felt the excitement she had felt coming home spilled over as she answered, the words tumbling from her on a breath

"I think I'm pregnant."

Castle's mouth dropped open, eyes lighting up with confusion and enthusiasm all at once. He started to splutter incoherent questions, unable to complete full sentences. She shrugged as she scraped her nails softly along his muscled abs, drawing a quick breath from her husband.

"I mean…I don't know for sure. It's just a hunch. I just…I've been really emotional lately, I haven't felt too well. It's all very familiar. I didn't want to find out without you, but I'm…I'm almost positive, Rick. We're pregnant."

Castle breathed out chuckle before kissing her harshly, his body trembling with excitement. She bowed into him as he hurried discarded her slacks, hands eagerly reaching for her. He growled against her throat, teeth scraping along the goose bumped skin.

"I love you, Kate. I love you so much."

Her own words of love were lost in him as he kissed her again. He finally whispered against her throat that if she wasn't pregnant, she would be soon, drawing a hearty laugh from Beckett.

* * *

"You sure about this?"

Beckett stared down at the badge in her hand, turning it over repeatedly in her hands. Castle stood behind her, hands resting gently on her baby bump. Glancing over her shoulder at her husband, Beckett dropped her badge on the dresser, glad to be home from her first day on the new shift. She cradled her hands over his, pressing his hands a little hard against her rounded stomach. Their unborn child kicked against his hand, drawing a smile from both of them.

Turning around to face him, Beckett listened to the sound of Alyssa playing in the living room with Martha, the tinkling laughter Kate needed in her life had Beckett nodding, admitting truthfully

"Gates is ready to retire. I think it's a good step in the right direction. I think this is really good for us, Castle. For our family. For me. We've worked so hard to get where we are."

She had been right, six months ago. Two hours after they had managed to catch their breath in his office Beckett showed him the confirmation of her pregnancy. They had excitedly woken their daughter, sharing the news with her first. Alyssa, who was just excited to see Mommy again, babbled and grinned along with her parents. Alexis was thrilled, quickly saying she wanted to have a brother while nudging her father with an exaggerated wink, Jim was quietly excited, asking the question that Castle and Beckett had raised themselves.

"What does this mean for your job?"  
"There's going to be some changes, Dad. Rick and I are already discussing them. I'm ready to slow down."

Castle, bringing Beckett back to the present, now pulled her back flush against his chest, pressing a simple kiss to the shell of her ear as he whispered, pride lacing his words.

"Well, time to go take on the world, Lieutenant. First stop on the way to Captain. Then one day..." he raised his eyes conspiratorially as he whispered emphatically, "Senator Beckett will rule all." 

Rolling her eyes at her endearing husband, Beckett muttered as she followed him, comfort in their decision and life settling over her.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"  
"Not a chance."


End file.
